Life.

The time has passed, but the ache remains. I thought by now, I’d be free of it, that I’d have found a way to carry on without the weight of what’s gone. But it lingers, just beneath the surface, like a shadow that follows me wherever I go. I tell myself I’ve accepted it, that I’ve made peace with the loss. But some days, it feels like I’m only pretending. I’ve tried to move forward, to find a way to be okay again. But every step feels heavy, like I’m walking through a fog I can’t escape. There are moments when the world feels too bright, too loud, and I just want to retreat into the quiet, where I can let the sadness wash over me without having to explain why I’m still not okay. People tell me it gets better with time, that the pain dulls and life moves on. Maybe they’re right, and maybe one day I’ll wake up and find that the hurt has faded. But right now, it feels like I’m stuck between who I was and who I’m supposed to become, unsure of how to close the gap. I want to let go. I want ...

If only you knew. If only you knew how my hands trembled when no one was watching. How I stayed up late, staring at the ceiling, replaying every moment in my mind, wondering if I did the right thing. If only you knew about the doubts that whispered in my ear, telling me I wasn't enough, that I wasn't as strong as I pretended to be. I kept my smile in place, my voice steady, because that's what you needed to see. But behind closed doors, when no one was around, I fell apart. The tears I held back all day would spill out, and I'd let myself feel everything I'd been holding in. If only you knew how much it took to keep going, to keep pretending that I was okay when all I wanted to do was hide. You saw the calm, the composure, the smile that never wavered. But you didn't see the cracks, the moments when I doubted myself, the times when I wondered how much longer I could keep it all together. I made it look easy because that's what everyone needed to see. But ins...